Its lost episode
{{NSFW}}
When I was about 3 years old, I loved Spongebob. I had all Spongebob DVDs. All of the Spongebob plush toys. All the Spongebob sh*t. I loved it when my dad cooked with a spatula because it reminded me of Spongebob. I hated it when mom turned off the TV and said "Spongebob is the f*cking worst sh*t I've seen. Go lay down b*tch." I wanted to kill her. I successfully did that and took out all of her organs. My dad ignored her gruesome fate and made us hot dogs that day.
I loved Spongebob so f*cking much. That was until I was 80. I got a letter one day that said:
''Dear FirstName LastName,''
''I am your dead mother. Thank you for killing me. I have something special for you.''
Further searching through the mailbox was a Spongebob DVD. I thought I owned all the Spongebob DVDs, but I've NEVER come across this one. So I've opened the godd*mn case and saw a blank DVD saying "SPUNGB0B AL EPISODS." Below the text was a picture of my dead mom, so much blood. I was particularly shocked. So i put in my DVD player.
It promised ALL episodes when it came out with just 1. On the menu, there literally was just
ONE
. What a f*cking ripoff! i decided to preview the only episode, and the intro popped up, but there was Satan and 666 everywhere, blood red colors, and a picture of my dead mom as seen on the DVD. I almost fainted, but learned to rebuild myself to go through it.
the title card read "GRANDMA DIES." I was f*cking shocked that I fainted and accidentally hit the stop button. Thank god. I woke up in just 14 years, when I was 94. The good thing was that I still had time to view the episode. So I went through the intro and title card prepared.
The episode started with Spongebob crying at Patrick, and he hit him. And then Spongebob's grandma walked in and died as soon as she walked in. There was blood and organs everywhere.
Spongebob started crying and murdered patrick. Then patrick turned into a scary hyperrealistic starfish and killed him back. I was so shocked, hoping that it would end soon.
Nope.
Spongebob came back alive and stared at Gramma's corpse in rage. Squidward walked in and died at the sight of her corpse. Blood squirted out of him everywhere. Then Spongebob had no choice but go in the bathroom and pee on his own face. He pulled his pants down, something that I could not take.
I wanted to pause it. then mom came back to life and grounded me for watching Spongebob porn. then my whole neighborhood died. I died as well. Also, your grandma is dead.
April 13, 2018
Here it is. Only 10 days until we lose net neutrality, 10 days until we're forced to play outside in traffic. Speaking of that, you may have noticed, how am I writing this when I died with my neighbors? We all got revived for some reason. So I went to Walmart.
As I went to the electronics section, I suddenly tripped and my shopping cart came running over an elderly woman who looked a lot like a hyper-realistic Spongebob's grandma. The shopping cart came back and hit me in the eye, despite being unharmed. It had another Spongebob DVD saying "Spogebob that lost episode."
When I put it in my DVD player, my DVD player top exploded, and so did a nearby Blimpie store. It revealed the disc spinning. The episode immediately started. I cannot believe what I saw next.
It was just a scene from "Wormy" when Squidward and Mr. Krabs are looking at the "monster," except it's replaced with a hyperrealistic dude, whose infamy didn't even exist until late 2017.
The scene where Spongebob yelled in surprise is in a weird audio effect and the screen is clearly brighter.
I was shocked. Then the credits rolled but the copyright date was 1979. NINE-TEEN. SEVENTY-FRICKIN-NINE.
And then there was something else on the DVD. It came up with a menu of a bunch of sh*t. There was an episode named "You Can Go To Jail For Being Too Greedy." I assume it's about Mr. Krabs because he loves money so much, but I'll watch it tomorrow. What I saw shocked me.
April 14, 2018
Today I became younger. I went from 94 to 15. At least this means I can live longer.
So today I decided to view "You Can Go To Jail For Being Too Greedy." The contents were horrifying.
Mr. Krabs was singing "The Feeling of Greed" (also known as "Cha-Ching"). And in the middle, the cops busted in and arrested him for being too greedy. It cut to the scene where a hyperrealistic Mr. Krabs was in jail, endless blood tears coming out of his eyes.
It cut to black and after 5 seconds, Mr. Krabs had a ski mask on saying "CHA-CHING!" and kills the cops. He got away with it, running back into the Krusty Krab and killing every customer, stealing all of their money. Then he ate a hyperrealistic Krabby Patty and ate it to death. During that horrible sight, a Mr. Krabs plush was watching me out the window.
And then it disappeared. Whew. Thank god.
The episode ended and then it said:
''You Don't Have All SpongeBob Episodes Yet''
''Viacom Owns All of Your YouTube Poops''
I was honestly confused. And then it went back to the list and there was an episode named "Net Neutrality Monster" which I am assuming is the one I saw yesterday, so I decided to skip it. There was one episode that wasn't titled, but I decided to view it anyway, just for the sake of it.
The SpongeBob intro from "Grandma Dies" played once again. And then was one of the most shocking names ever. "Raidiation." It was actually a misspelled version of "radiation" but it was still f*cking horrible.
The episode started with Spongebob wandering around his pineapple. Then Squidward is annoyed to the brim and pours hazardous toxic waste on Spongebob. This causes Spongebob to turn into a hyperrealistic version of himself. Then a hyperrealistic Patrick says Hello to spongebob in a demonic voice, and static appeared, and I swear I saw "666" flash on my screen.
The episode has gone full-on grotesque in the end. It shows a picture of the both in their hyperrealistic form.
I wanted to throw this DVD away but curiosity wanted me to fall. So I will keep it from now on until I get all of the episodes.
April 19, 2018
There's a reason why I'm not updating this blog anymore. I (didn't) promised every day that you would get more information. I broke that promise, but it was because of an episode so horrifying for a kid's show like SpongeBob SquarePants.
It was called "F*ck You, Krabs!" I was shocked to death. I wonder how they managed to pull this off, but on the credits after the title card, it said it was created by "Steven Killenburg". The episode began, and SpongeBob was running to the Krusty Krab, but instead of "Krusty Krab" it said "Krusty Sh*t". When spongebob walked in with his spatula and ran into Mr. Krabs' office.
He said "F*ck you, Krabs! Your reign is over!"
Krabs replied. "What are you talking about, boyo?"
And Spongebob just gutted him with his spatula. It showed an image of a hyperrealistic Mr. Krabs next to a scarily-drawn Spongebob with his broken spatula. Blood was everywhere. I threw my DVD player out the window upon seeing a screamer afterwards. It catched on fire and my neighborhood exploded. I woke up in a black room with nothing...
...but that image.